Hello and welcome,
First and foremost, understand that I am not here to discriminate, belittle or criticise any responsible adult (parent, guardian, carer and all the alike) for only knowing what they know about parenting, with the knowledge they have at the time whilst raising their child or children, trying to live their life also. That would contradict my ‘personal sovereignty’ speech, besides; it’s not my intention nor is it my perspective. I am here to raise awareness and understandings that parenting is a constant and continuous practice where thinking outside the box will give more meaning to a child or children, than maternal/paternal instincts alone. There is much more to parenting a child or children as most would believe.
I have so much to discuss and share about parenting, raising a child or children, child development and behaviour and child empowerment, ever since I found the root cause of my crisis. All I wanted to do is to heal my emotional wounds and move on silently; instead, I became a writer/author. Not only have I discovered the root cause of my crisis, but I have possibly come to identify the root cause of violence, harassment, negligence, racism, anger, stealing, arrogance, ignorance, discrimination, bullying, abuse (mistreatment), insecurities (especially confidence). And the flip side to the mentioned are: self-inflicting habits, submissive behaviours, detached or aloof characteristics, afraid/fearful, introvert, defensive, complicated, phobia (fear of being judged), etc, potentially, the crisis that OUR world is experiencing and I’m hesitant to say but it starts from parenting.
Has anyone asked themselves, how on earth does a baby grow to learn such behaviours when parents are their primary role model? Whatever you may know, understand that babies have been developing in their mother’s womb for the past nine months and virtually, everything the mother does the baby feels and that’s just brushing the surface. In addition, babies have been listening to their mother’s heartbeat ever since; this alone is evidence that babies have started learning.
This is why I would like to discuss yet another important topic that lingers in most adults today, that has long been with them since childhood. Depending on the level of severity and/or exposure, these unresolved issues that most people carry are inner emotional conflicts that children, teenagers, adults and seniors struggle to stabilise. This could be: self sabotaging behaviours, escapism/avoidant habits, emotional eating/compulsive work disorders, substance related uses and rebellious or despotic behaviours. All of which are signs of chronic emotional stress that cause dysfunctional behaviour habits. These are psychological and emotional wounds, the unresolved issues.
Has anyone asked themselves why some people eat when they’re upset? (Emotional eating) or why some people work excessively? (Compulsive work disorder) or why some people resort to substance/s? (Substance related users) or play video games for prolonged hours? (Escapism/avoidant habits) are some examples. As with everything, there is a root cause. I’m going to end this article with an example for you all to think about.
Parent A decides to smack their child softly on their bottom because the parent believes their child is being disobedient (a parents perspective, not a child’s perspective). Parent B criticises their child for creating a mess in the playroom (once again, a parent’s perspective, not a child’s perspective). Both parents mean well for their children, but don’t realise the ramifications of their actions. Parents A and B may not realise what they’ve just taught their child. Here is where the story gets interesting; the two children meet at the school play ground during lunch. The child of parent A fails an attempt on the monkey bars and the child of parent B criticises the child of parent A. Guess what happens next?
My kindest regards to you all,
Ersen





